The Final Girl – Dead Presidents

Cast

Hank

The crusty Secret Service Agent

Billy Bob

The naive country tourist who got lost

Marjorie

The anal retentive chef that specializes in pastries

Ashley Lorenz

The official presidential photographer

Floyd Cresswell

The Vice President of the United States

Sharon Mills

The First Lady of the United States

Janet Dollmen

The VP’s secret mistress

Auset Garai

The famous Egyptian archaeologist

Jonny Sanders

The new junior journalist

Joel Hendricks

The clumsy Secret Service agent

Stella York

The overly imaginative conspiracy theorist

Emmett Mason

The egotistical Army general

Synopsis

The opening scene takes place in the main lobby of the White House.  An exhibit of ancient Egyptian relics is on display and important peoples are mingling over champagne and hors d’oeuvres.  The First Lady, Sharon Mills, is posing for pictures by the artifacts while Stella approaches Auset and begins spewing her conspiracy theories about ancient Egypt.  Hank intervenes in the increasingly heated conversation and pulls Stella away. Sharon accidentally opens one of the urns and a hushed whisper is heard.  Hank lets Stella go, to the dismay of Auset. Auset and Stella develop a rivalry while surprisingly Hank and Sharon are screwing.

The next scene opens in the banquet hall as workers prepare for the seated dinner for the guests.  Billy Bob wanders onto the scene and asks Marjorie for help because he is embarrassed that he is lost.  Marjorie leads him to a closet in the kitchen and locks him in there.  Marjorie returns to check on her beautiful pastry display.  Emmett drills Joel about being a green Secret Service agent.  Billy Bob begins beating on the door to be let out.  Joel runs over and shoots the lock off the door.  He grabs Billy Bob and in the process of escorting him out, drops him into the pastry display.  Marjorie is incensed and takes Joel’s handcuffs and puts them on Joel.  The whisper is heard again and the characters don’t notice that the hieroglyph decorations on the pastries have attained a faint glow.

The next day, a helicopter lands on the grounds and the president exits as he is hounded by the press.  Janet is having a conversation with Jonny who mentions he is a journalist for Teen Vogue magazine.  As Ashley is taking pictures, Billy Bob wanders into the yard carrying an Egyptian scepter. The helicopter takes off, blowing wind harshly over the yard yet it doesn’t seem to affect the area around Billy Bob.  Ashley, Jonny, and Janet decide that Billy Bob would make a great story to go into Teen Vogue.  Ashley is apparently screwing with Jonny to put this sham of a story in a magazine.  Jonny has struck up a friendship with Billy Bob while Janet has a cordial working relationship with Ashley.

Later on in the library, Auset is showing Emmett the same scepter that Billy Bob was carrying around.  She is telling him that it should not have been part of the exhibit because it is not an Egyptian but older than Egyptian.  She mentions that it could be a weapon of mass destruction.  The Vice President, Floyd Cresswell shows some interest in the scepter but Emmett puts him down saying no one respects him.  Cresswell steps to the side and makes himself a drink but starts choking.  Cresswell coughs out blood into the face of Emmett.  The lights flash and go out with only the scepter glowing. Auset spontaneously combusts as a bolt of lightning fires out of the staff, hitting Emmett and turning him into a sculpture of sand.

The next scene takes place in an office just outside the Oval Office.  It has become apparent that no one can leave the White House because when they try, they die immediately.  Sharon finds comfort in Hank’s presence here.  Stella is here as well telling everyone that the cause is aliens.  Hank suggests going to roof to signal for help while Stella believes one of the artifacts can help.  It suddenly sounds like a hurricane is blowing through the hallway and distant screams can be heard.  Behind the characters, the sand coalesces into the form of Anubis.  Anubis grabs Hank from behind and tears his head off before the screen goes to black.

Following that cut to black, we see Joel, Billy Bob, and Marjorie hunkered down in the bowling alley.  All the lights are off but the red glow of the emergency lighting is on.  Marjorie is worried about her pastries going bad while Billy Bob said that he found the scepter sitting in the library and brought it with him to the bowling alley.  Joel says he now has control of the nuclear football.  Marjorie does not like that being in the clumsy Joel’s hand.  Billy Bob uses this opportunity to roll a ball down the lane and scores a strike.  But, an army of giant scarabs pour forth from the bowling alley pits.  Joel starts swing the nuclear football and crushing scarabs while Billy Bob is using bowling balls to defend himself.  The scarabs form up into a giant hand and slams down on Joel.

Afterwards, Janet, Sharon, and Jonny are seen on the roof of the White House.  They see that the house is surrounded by military and media. The military has been unable to break through the evil barrier surrounding the White House.  Suddenly Floyd Cresswell steps out onto the roof but yet something is off.  It is obviously Anubis in the form of Floyd.  He then points the scepter towards the military vehicles and causes a tank to explode.  Anubis approaches Janet and impales her with the scepter.

In the next scene, Billy Bob, Marjorie, and Sharon are in the Secret Service office.  They are arming themselves with whatever weapons they can scrounge.  Sharon has a new resolve is now willing to fight for her life.  Billy Bob is all for the right to bear arms.  Marjorie is still pissed her pastry ingredients are probably going bad.  They move out into the hallway and Janet appears behind the group, holding the scepter.  Sharon feels a hand on her shoulder and screams, “I saw you die!”.  Janet then sucks out Sharon’s soul.

In the basement we find Billy Bob, Jonny, and Marjorie searching for a tunnel that may lead away from the White House.  Billy Bob assures Marjorie that he saved some of her pastries.  Jonny says one of the tunnels should lead to Congress.  They find a tunnel but they can hear the skittering of scarabs in the dark of the tunnel.  As Billy Bob through a flaming magazine down the hall, it caught a gas leak and Marjorie gets engulfed in flames.

Later on we see Billy Bob, Stella, and Ashley running across the lawn. Ashley is snapping shots as she runs. Stella is still spewing conspiracy theories while Billy Bob is telling them to just run.  A great cloud rolls in overhead and fills the sky and then the ground as a yellow glow consumes everything.  They find themselves still on the White House lawn but in the middle of a vast desert.  A visage of Anubis appears in the sky.  Ashley is enthralled at the scene and is steady taking pictures.  A bolt of lightning from the sky turns Ashley to dust.

Now we see Stella, Billy Bob, and Jonny wandering this strange desert. Jonny is now off his rocker and Stella is as defiant as ever.  The sound of a helicopter can be heard.  Vice President Floyd is hanging out the side of the helicopter, holding the scepter.  A blast from the ancient scepter burns Jonny to the ground.  Billy Bob opens up with his weapons but has a massive heart attack.

Stella turns to take a last look at the White House.  Suddenly, President Mills emerges on the back of a giant eagle, prepared to do battle with Anubis.

The End.