The Final Girl – Seaward
Cast
Ernesto
The Lusty Cabin Boy
Reginald Fitzgerald
The Handsy, Elderly Foreigner
Crackers
Someone’s Hateful Pet Parrot
Kraig Earenfight
The Classic Nerd
Ema Grave
The Research Librarian who Makes Poor Choices
Stavros
The Old Janitor Who Cleans Up
Mitchell Jones
The Sci-Fi Geek
Danna O’Niel
The Blind Lesbian
Miss Evangeline Cobain
The Rich Old Lady
Miggy
The Wealthy Bartender who took this Gig for the Girls
Breonca Whitworth
The Kleptomaniac Housekeeper
Cindy Forrester
Ship’s Captain Who Curses Like a True Sailor
Synopsis
The movie opens with Ema, Cindy, Mitchell, and Miss Evangeline participating in a speed dating round robin. Cindy and Mitchell get off on the wrong foot as Cindy catches Mitchell littering. While Miss Evangeline and Ema seem to become friends after a conversation reveals Miss Evangeline may have murdered her last husband.
The next scene opens on a buffet at dinner time on the cruise. Dana struggles getting food from the bar when Miggy steps in to help. Stavros comes in and starts picking up food of the floor and putting it in his pocket. While Miggy is laying the flirt on Dana, Reginald shows up to put his hands on Dana and Miggy. Miggy and Reginald vie for Dana’s time and they agree to eat dinner together. Stavros informs Miggy that he is needed behind the bar. Stavros then steals some food from Dana’s plate. Stavros and Miggy now have a rivalry brewing while Miggy and Reginald seemed to make good report with Dana.
The third scene focuses on Breonca, Ernesto, Reginald, and Crackers the parrot. It is casino night and Crackers squawks “Murder! Murder! Plane!” Reginald swats away Crackers and then Breonca tries to catch the parrot. Ernesto enters and Reginald and Breonca are enthralled with the overwhelming sexiness. Ernesto seduces Reginald back to the room while Breonca manhandles Crackers. It is apparent Crackers has developed a rivalry with Reginald and Breonca while Ernesto and Reginald are for sure screwing. Also Breonca and Reginald seem to have a rivalry over the sexy Ernesto.
The killer is introduced in the fourth scene. Kraig, Miss Evangeline and Stavros are on deck by the pool late at night. Kraig is flirting with Miss Evangeline while Stavros eats stolen food next the pool. Stavros yells at the other two about being by the pools after hours. A groaning sound is heard as the lights begin to flicker. Miss Evangeline presses Kraig to investigate as the lights shut off completely. A figure rises from the dark water of the pool and it takes the squeegee from Stavros and kills him with a poke through the throat. Kraig tries to run away as Miss Evangeline is pull overboard by an unseen force. As Kraig tries to crawl away, he loses his hands as a metal door slams shut. He looks up to see the ghost just before the screen cuts to black.
The next scene opens with a sunny day by the pool which for some reason is now void of water. Mitchell is lounging in a beach chair when Dana comes in and starts to walk down the steps into the empty pool. Dana wonders where the water is and Mitchell realizes she is blind and helps her out. Ema runs in and starts berating Mitchell for leaving too quickly after a night of loving. Dana starts to flirt with Ema when a storm starts to roll in but the thunder sounds like propellers. It begins to rain but instead of water, it is raining blood. The three of them run inside to get away from the blood rain but Dana collapses as she has been vertically sliced in half. A whirling noise gets louder as Mitchell is sucked back outside and a spray of red mist covers Ema. Blinded she stumbles outside and the screen fades to black.
Scene six features Crackers, Breonca, and Cindy. It opens with Breonca approaching Cindy about cleaning up after the “rust” rains and the rumors of guests missing personal items. Crackers squawks that Breonca is a liar and Breonca threatens to kill the bird. Cindy worries about everyone losing their jobs because of the now missing guests. The sound of an engine can be heard and it grows louder and louder as the lights go out and the emergency lights come on. Drops of blood appear on the floor and Cindy tells Breonca to hurry and clean it up. The engine noise is now a deafening roar as a gust of wind knocks down Cindy and Breonca as sheet covers Crackers. The sheet with Crackers is slammed against the wall killing the hateful parrot.
Then we see Cindy making a general announcement to ship to try and calm the guests. After the announcement Cindy starts freaking out and talking to Ernesto and Miggy about her concerns about the authorities at the port. She tells Miggy to get everyone as wasted as can be so that the missing guests can be written off as drunken accidents. The ship begins to rock and the engine sound roars again. Miggy sees a girl he was interested in and follows her through the corridor. He reaches for her but his hand passes through her non-physical form. The ghost then drags Miggy off to darkness and the screen cuts to black.
In the seventh scene, we find Breonca, Reginald, and Ernesto. Ernesto is having to tend bar due to the disappearance of Miggy. Club music is blaring although most of the guests are downtrodden. Reginald is dancing and still having a good time. He is trying to get Ernesto and Breonca to liven up and party. Breonca is annoyed by Reginald’s antics and wants Ernesto to protect her. The music starts to skip badly and Reginald moves off to the DJ booth to fix it. The sound gets louder and the speakers explode, tossing sparks all over the club. Reginald feels hands walk up his body and they dig into his chest. The hands explode outward, opening the rib cage.
The final scene begins with Cindy, Ernesto, and Breonca at the helm of the ship. The ship is out of control and steaming full throttle towards the island. Cindy fights with the wheel while Breonca is trying to save all “her” valuables. Ernesto takes hold of the wheel and steers the ship in the sexiest way possible. Cindy finds some liquor to drink. The ship begins to list and begins to run aground. A ghostly propeller blade appears outside the ship. Cindy can’t hold on and is shredded, followed soon after by Breonca. The propeller disappears and Ernesto is able to escape the beached ship. Ernesto is confronted by the ghostly killer, Amelia Earhart. Ernesto says, “I found you” and gently touches her ghostly cheek. The screen flashes and we see Ernesto and a beautiful Amelia Earhart on the beach.
The End.